Listening to a Student

To K, this post is for you.

Near the end of this past school year, a teen who I have worked with for the past two years as a female shared openly that she identifies as male. His announcement did not surprise me, even though it was not what I expected. And it certainly did not bother me. He had been a mature, friendly, yet seemingly insecure and often sad girl, who I desperately wished I could connect to more. She read incessantly, sometimes to the point of foregoing other expectations, such as school work. (It is a dilemma, as a teacher when I see students who love to read, but choose to read instead of focusing in classes and participating in school work. I love kids who enjoy reading, especially by their own accord.)

I knew though, that something was going on, something personal. Having my own history with various struggles, I do not wish anyone to struggle, especially internally, and especially as a youth.

After his announcement, he may have still been struggling, but now he exuded confidence, and frequently, he smiled. He talked openly about future plans for transition. He gently reminded others if we used the incorrect pronouns or name, but never shamed us. His family accepted him even though I know his father admittedly was working on adjusting to using the correct pronouns in his daily use. My student excitedly showed off a new necklace one day that allowed him to show his pronoun of choice so that he did not have to remind others each time. And from what I observed, he did not encounter bullying or harassment from peers, at least in my presence. Unfortunately, I fear this will not always remain the case, but I believe he is now at a place of personal strength and will always have people nearby who support and love him. I know though, that this too, for many youth and adults, is sadly not always the case.
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Beautiful Music for Ugly Children Written by Kirstin Cronn-Mills (c) 2012  (First Edition, Tenth Printing 2016) 
Flux, an imprint of Llewellyn Worldwide Ltd. (Publisher)

2014 Stonewall Award 

Recommended by my student, I have to say first, I loved this book! Not since I read Sachiko (see earlier post) have I encountered a story that I did not want to put down. It pained me when I couldn't keep my eyes open a couple of nights to continue reading. 

The story focuses on Gabe, a transgender male whose family identifies as Elizabeth, whose classmates identify as either a lesbian or an "it" or other derogatory term, but whose closest friends identify as a friend, a music lover, a person. Written via first person point-of-view, the reader has easy access to Gabe's thoughts and internal dialogue.

Gabe is a high school senior at a school in Minnesota. (For Minnesotans, several references in the book will be familiar.) Thanks to a dear neighbor and friend, Gabe becomes a host of a late night radio show which shares the title of the book. It is here where Gabe can comfortably be himself as no one can see him or recognize him as Elizabeth, and he can speak about the classic music he knows and loves. Each chapter title compares someone to Elvis Presley and appears to come from Gabe rather than the author. On a personal level, Gabe compares himself to the B sides of 45's (records/vinyls that have a single song on each side). He's the lesser known song, but comparably good to the well-known song on the A side.

As the story progresses, more people become introduced to Gabe in person. As a result, struggles with acceptance (Gabe's own, and that of other people including his family and beyond), discrimination, and other challenges occur; however, there are several little bursts of cheer-worthy events throughout the book, especially related to followers of his radio show.

Gabe's voice in the story possesses a realness that draws in the reader. I felt like he was talking to me and that I could talk to him if that was possible. The details and descriptions turned the story into pictures in my mind. I found myself visualizing Gabe's story like a movie (which I would love to see). It did not matter that I lacked familiarity with many of the tunes he and his friend John referred to, or even if I had the familiarity, I did not always understand the fascination or the connections between Gabe and John's ideas and the songs. This did not matter, in the same way that people dear to us have interests we may not always connect to. We still love the people. That's how I felt and feel about Gabe. I would love to be his friend!

The story radiates personal processing and growth. Perhaps that's another reason I connected so well to Gabe. I gravitate toward stories where people have goals and make a concerted effort to move toward them, even if they struggle with figuring out how to do this. While the conclusion of the book may not be what readers expect or want, I found it hopeful and satisfying.
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What is a great book for youth that you have read recently? Share below.
Let me know, also, if you read "Beautiful Music for Ugly Children."

If you are interested in the pronoun necklace that I referenced in the beginning of this post, here is the link to the Etsy site where my student got it. SpacerobotStudio This site also has emotion/feeling necklaces for displaying how one is feeling without talking, which is great for people who have autism or other challenges.

Until my next post (which I assure you will be much sooner than between my last post and now),

Today and tomorrow,

~Tamara