Monday, September 7, 2015

Foundation Shakers

As I recover from my thyroidectomy, the repeated prognosis from medical professionals, from acquaintances, from friends, from family, is that everything will be all right. That's great! Really! However, I still have to get through the now. Gotta learn some new scarf tying techniques as I await the tape to finish falling off and I can see the actual battle scar left behind. Thank goodness I always freeze in my school building. No risk of feeling too hot while I work.

A dear friend, who I recently reconnected with, told me that regardless of the prognosis and easy treatment, a diagnosis of cancer is still a foundation shaker. Those two words say it all. It still is frightening knowing that cancer has now been found inside of me. I have to put the "what if" thoughts aside regarding recurrences. I am determined to believe that just as with any other traumatic event, life eventually can take over and my main focus will be on that. This wrinkle in my journey will be an extra appetizer that I may or may not have room for along with my main course.
My plan is to live to be old. Really old.

On the thought of foundation shakers, I decided to connect my thoughts to some books that have shaken the foundation of many people, or may only have stirred up some things. These books are about love. They are about families. They are about being true to oneself. Unfortunately, two of these picture books seem to  "threaten" the livelihoods of many people to the point that they feel the need to try and censor them. I include the third book because it focuses on a topic that I know some people will take issue with. I anticipate that as more people learn about it, controversy will arise--but I hope not.

Heather Has Two Mommies (10th Anniversary Edition) by Leslea Newman; Illustrated by Diana Souza (copyright 1989, 2000)
In this 10th Anniversary Edition, Leslea Newman includes an afterword where she notes that as a result of writing Heather Has Two Mommies she was once declared "the most dangerous writer living in America today."  She is not a criminal. She wrote a book that features a little girl who has two mothers (and who happens to love the number two). According to the the America Library Association (ALA), Heather Has Two Mommies was 11th on the list of 100 Most Frequently Challenged Books of 1990 to 2000.

The story purely is about different families and the different groupings of adults and children that can comprise a family. Heather and her two mommies, Mama Kate and Mama Jane, just happen to be the thread that connects the whole story. The reader follows Heather as she starts her new playgroup, which I saw as a typical daycare class of similar-aged children. None of the children seem bothered or upset about different family makeups. As the playgroup teacher, Molly, tells the students, "It doesn't matter if your family has sisters or brothers or cousins or grandmothers or grandfathers or uncles or aunts. Each family is special. The most important thing about a family is that all the people in it love each other." It is clear in the story that Mama Kate and Mama Jane love Heather. They spend time with her inside and outside. They share their interests with her. They talk with her. They prepare her for starting at the playgroup. It is clear, also, that Heather loves both her moms as she tells them that she loves each of them best.

The writing of this story is geared for a young audience. My daughter can understand it. This past year, a new version was released (Heather Has Two Mommies (2016 version). I have not seen this version to compare changes in the text. The greatest change involves updated and colorful illustrations by Laura Cornell (the illustrator introduced to me through her collaboration with actress Jamie Lee Curtis and her picture books).

I love the focus on families. This book is  a resource for starting or continuing this discussion with our children.


And Tango Makes Three by Justin Richardson and Peter Parnell; Illustrated by Henry Cole (copyright 2005, 2015)
This story is based on the true story of Roy and Silo, two male chinstrap penguins at the Central Park Zoo in New York in 1998. Mr. Gramzay, their zookeeper,  noticed the two penguins developing a fondness for each other. He watched the penguins observe other couples and try to create a home for themselves just as other penguin couples did. They even sat on a rock as other penguins sat on eggs. When another couple had an extra fertile egg they couldn't care for, Mr. Gramzay decided to give it to Roy and Silo. The two penguins knew what to do and took turns caring for the egg, day and night. When it hatched, the penguins continued to care for Tango (named because, as Mr. Gramzay said, "it takes two to make a Tango").  Eventually visitors to the zoo could see the three penguins happily together.

While Roy and Silo are no longer together, the existence of the book And Tango Makes Three continues to shake up people who believe the book promotes homosexuality and does not belong in the hands of children. The book seems to have made enough people feel threatened that for a time it was known as the most banned book in the United States. According to the ALA list of top 100 books banned or challenged during the years 2000-2009, And Tango Makes Three  ranks fourth.  Recently, in 2014, Singapore planned to destroy (pulp) every single copy in its library system until citizens spoke out. The compromise was to move the book to the adult section of the library so that parents can decide to check it out for their children to see.

Justin Richardson, one of the co-authors said in an article in the New York Times in 2005 (following announcement of the "breakup" of Roy and Silo) that, "We wrote the book to help parents teach children about same-sex parent families. It's no more an argument in favor of human gay relationships than it is a call for children to swallow their fish whole or sleep on rocks."

I can agree.

Morris Micklewhite and the Tangerine Dress by Christine Baldachhino; Illustrated by Isabelle Malenfant (copyright 2014)
Morris likes Sundays because his mother makes him pancakes those days. He likes painting and doing puzzles at school. He likes to sing loudly. He like to play dress up, especially when he can wear the tangerine dress and the shoes that "click, click, click across the floor." At first Morris pretends it doesn't bother him when the other children, both boys and girls, tease him and remind him at various times how he does not belong if he wears a dress or wears nail polish. By the end of the week, though, his thinking about the mean things his classmates said and did to him give him a tummy ache. While he rests at home, he reads books with his cat, Moo. He dreams of adventure on a space safari where he and Moo see blue elephants that swish like the tangerine dress when Morris walks, giant leaves that crinkle like the dress when Morris sits, and spaceship buttons that click like the shoes when Morris walks. He makes a painting of a child riding an elephant. His mother does not condemn him when he says that the child wearing a tangerine dress is him. When he returns to school, painting in hand, he creates his own spaceship since the other boys won't let him on theirs. The boys question him about the elephant in his picture. Morris invites them to follow him to find out more. Soon imagination and play override the fact that Morris is wearing a dress. Even when a girl chides him again, now Morris has the courage and confidence to speak up.

I love this story. I appreciate the focus on imagination. I appreciate how Morris has a mother who does not tell him he should not wear dresses. She does not tell him that he should not wear nail polish. She accepts him for how he chooses to be. After all, he is a child. It is his time to explore and be curious.

I anticipate that some readers will view this book and take issue that the main character is a boy, older than a baby, wearing a dress. Does it mean he will grow up to be a cross dresser? Does it mean he wants to be a girl? Who knows? He may just like the feel and sounds of different textures. Really, though, at this point does it matter? What matters is acceptance of Morris for being the little boy who he is. Don't stifle his curiosity and imagination.

My daughter loves this book. I love the conversations we have had as a result of reading it. I have no doubt that my daughter will comment if she sees a boy or a man wearing a dress. She'll comment because she won't see this choice for attire as being wrong. She'll comment, most likely, because she loves dresses.
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Looking at the families--the parents and children--in these books, and thinking of my own non-traditional family with my daughter, and some of the comments I have received when meddling folk feel the need to try and steer me down a different path because of my family make-up and my single status, I can understand how these three books may shake up one's foundation of what one believes is traditional or "normal". I would hope that the shake-up does more to promote discussion and re-evaluation. Times are changing and there is little room today for a lack of acknowledgement of these changes. We don't have to agree with everything about how people live, about what people believe, or about how people love, but there is no peace without acceptance of people as people.  The characters in these books are representative of loving families today.

I know from my years of working with youth and families that dysfunction exists in all types of families--including traditional two-parent heterosexual families. Love, however, connects people together and also exists in all types of families and toward all "types" of children. For anyone who thinks they know what "normal" is, I remember from my involvement with programs supporting people who have mental illness that "normal" is a setting on the washing machine.

I shall conclude here. When I consider why I will not watch or listen to the news or watch a crime show on television while my daughter is in the room or in earshot, I feel grateful for books such as the three I addressed  today. I can share these books with my daughter and we can talk about them. As I continue my desire to raise her in an environment that values love, tolerance, acceptance, kindness and open-heartedness, these books are only a few of the many, yet not enough, available to aid me in the discussions and learning. What my daughter gains from these books now will be different from what she may take away a year from now, or even five years from now. And that is what is wonderful about books and stories.

Just one girl's opinion.

~Tamara Riva

Friday, September 4, 2015

Update from Me

Hello Wonderful Readers,
I may not have achieved my two-week blog goal, but I'm not giving up, and I have every intention of keeping this blog going.

People have asked how I am doing.
I survived a week of teacher workshops and am now cramming to finish setting up my classroom and plan the first week's lessons and activities. I don't know too many teachers who feel fully ready for the first day when it arrives, but it all manages to work out.

I've been a bit tired, but livable tired. The pain from the surgery no longer requires pain meds. I get a little hoarse after extended speaking (which should make things interesting next week when I have students), but otherwise I feel all right or "okayish." I plan to take things one day at a time, as best I can as I prepare for the next major step in treatment--the radioactive iodine (it won't really make me glow or give me the ability to cook food--I inquired.)

I am appreciative of all the people in my life who have shared their experiences with me regarding their own thyroid issues. There are so many of us, fortunately and unfortunately.

I feel restless when I'm not writing, and the feedback from my posts keeps me inspired. I do have several blog posts in the works on topics including foundation shakers (diverse picture books and challenges), graphic novels, novels in verse, nonfiction picture books, and "what's the deal with adults intervening" in picture books. Yes, I tend to have a lot about picture books. I can't help it. They are amazing sources of stories. Plus, there is no excuse of a lack of time to read as long as picture books exist.

Please feel free to post comments on past and present posts. I love feedback and reading different perspectives. As a teacher, I want to "hear" (in this case, read) your thoughts.

Here's to reading lots of books in the meantime.

I'll be back soon!

Have a  great Labor Day weekend!

~Tamara Riva