Those Meddling Adults...Part 2 of 2

PART 2 (cutting it close, but it's still Friday):

In February, I concluded my fourth year as a Destination Imagination team manager. If you're not familiar with Destination Imagination or DI, it's a program that promotes teamwork, creativity, problem solving, and more. Teams comprised of up to seven members select a challenge provided by DI and then spend the season working together to create a solution to present at competitions. My role as the team manager is basically to be a guide and help the team stay focused. One of the main rules I, as well as parents, have to be aware of is the role of interference. I cannot tell my team what to do or how to do it. No matter how much the team may appear to be struggling or unfocused, I have to keep my mouth shut--even if I have a great idea for accomplishing what members may want to do, but haven't figured out yet how to do it. Ultimately it is up to the team to solve its own problems and create a wonderful solution to the challenge. If the team falls, I am there to help the members celebrate the process and honor what went well, as well as reflect on the struggles.

Keeping my ideas silent at times is incredibly challenging. I literally have to bite my tongue.
And sometimes, it is painful.

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A Hat for Mrs. Goldman by Michelle Edwards; Illustrated by G. Brian Karas (c)2016 
Schwartz & Wade (Publisher)

Mrs. Goldman knits hats for babies, for adults, for children, for all different head sizes. She says it's her mitzvah, or good deed, to keep keppies (heads) warm. She even knit a dinosaur sweater for her dog.

Sophia received her first hat from Mrs. Goldman,  her neighbor, when she was a baby. Mrs. Goldman later taught Sophia how to knit, but Sophia prefers to make the pom poms for the hats.
One day, Sophia joins Mrs. Goldman as she walks her dog, Fifi. The air is touched by winter approaching and Sophia notices that Mrs. Goldman does not have a hat. Mrs. Goldman tells her that she gave her hat to someone who needed one. As the days grow colder and Sophia continues to see Mrs. Goldman without a hat, she worries about her friend, and wonders who will make a hat for her? Then Sophia decides that she will knit a hat for her dear friend.

As the story continues, Sophia knits whenever she is not visiting Mrs. Goldman as she wants to keep her gift a surprise. When she finally feels she has completed the hat, Sophia becomes distressed by what she fears she created--a monster hat, full of holes where she dropped stitches. Sophia realizes she cannot give this hat to Mrs. Goldman and considers her options for solving the problem. Unsure of what to do next, Sophia remembers Mrs. Goldman encouraging her with a craft beyond knitting. Sophia makes a decision of what to do and turns the monster hat into a work of art that both she feels proud of, and Mrs. Goldman cherishes.

What I love about A Hat for Mrs. Goldman is that there is no interference from adults. There is no meddling. Sophia is a child who identifies a problem, and dedicates herself to figuring out a way to solve it. Even when things do not work out quite the way she imagines, by remembering Mrs. Goldman's words acknowledging her talent, Sophia realizes that she has the skills to fix the problem and create something beautiful. And in the end, she truly touches Mrs. Goldman's heart. 

This book touches my heart and makes me smile each time I read it. Plus, it shares a pattern with readers for Sophia's hat. If I ever make it, which I hope to one day, I'll be sure to share it here.

Today and tomorrow,

~Tamara

Those Meddling Adults...Part 1 of 2

PART 1:

"If it weren't for you meddling kids" the bad guy would have gotten away with it. That's the message shared by the captured villains in Scooby Doo episodes. Darn kids.

When it comes to children's picture books, my question has been, "what's with those meddling adults?" This question hasn't always been with me, but became a part of me during one of my first residencies in Hamline's MFAC program after I chose to share my picture book draft about a boy and his stuffed herring for my workshop. In the story, the boy had a close connection to his stuffed animal. When his confidence in himself had fallen, the boy, who was able to talk back and forth with his herring, of course when adults were not present, brings the herring to school to keep in his desk. He continues to not believe in himself when the herring does not talk and the teacher comforts the boy. Eventually the teacher reminds the boy of the meaning of his Hebrew name and helps the boy realize that he already has comfort he needs to believe in himself.

While readers loved the idea of the herring, the message that came through loud and clear was that when I write a picture book story, or really any story now, I want to empower the child. I want to have the child figure out how to solve the problem. This is what I try to do when I teach, also. I may provide the instruction to my students, but then I want them to process and solve the problems. How much does it help my students if I give them the answers? I think about this with my daughter, too. Besides, I love seeing how she tries to find solutions to challenges.

This week's posts focus on two picture books--one that involves adult interference for a perceived need, and one that features a child who sees a legitimate need and independently comes up with a solution to fulfill it.

Owen Written and illustrated by Kevin Henkes (c) 1993
Greenwillow Books (publisher)
Caldecott Honor Book

Owen is a young mouse. He is a young mouse attached to a yellow blanket that goes everywhere with him. Owen is an only child to supposed first-time parents. Mrs. Tweezers is the meddling older neighbor who seems to feel the need to tell Owen's parents that he is too old to be carrying around the blanket. She suggests various techniques for the parents to implement in attempts to rid Owen of his blanket attachment. Whether it is because Owen's parents are insecure first-time parents or they truly are worried about Owen's obsession with his blanket (although I did not feel their concern implied until Mrs. Tweezers interfered) they give in and try the suggested techniques. Owen overhears the suggestions and foils each plan. The final battle occurs when Mrs. Tweezers reminds Owen's parents that Owen will not be able to bring his blanket to school. In the end, Owen's mother has an idea for the blanket and solves the problem. This makes everyone--Owen's mother, father, Owen, and Mrs. Tweezers all happy and satisfied.

While I can appreciate Owen's mother's solution to the "problem" as my own daughter will be starting kindergarten in the fall and likes to bring a cuddle toy and her "nummy pillow" with her each day to daycare now, I prefer that Little Sapling partakes in coming up with the compromise. She enjoys the story of Owen, but for myself, looking at it as a writer and as a mom who has had people interfere in my parenting with their ideas when I may not have asked for them, I am not an overall fan of the book. I struggle with the meddling, and then the mom alone coming up with a solution. What if the solution had devastated Owen? It certainly could have. He was smart in the story. He needed to be involved.

Just one girl's opinion.

In total contrast, I would like to present a recent find that is a perfect example of the child being empowered. Which book did I choose?

Stay tuned for Part 2 and the conclusion of "Meddling Humans" on Friday this week.

Until then,

Today and tomorrow,

~Tamara