Finding Focus, Slowing Down, and Progress

How far we've come in one year, and how far we have not. A year ago yesterday I returned to in-person teaching after being in distance learning since March 2020. I remember the anxiety of not being vaccinated yet as we jumped in, eager to be with the children again, but terrified of getting sick. This week, in 2022, my school district returned to distance learning--planned for only one week--with the challenges of teaching online again, and for me, being a mom making sure my daughter succeeds with distance learning herself. The past version was not fun. Along with the now, is the worrying about what seems to be a matter of when we will get sick, rather than if we will. It is exhausting combining the mental fatigue and challenges with focusing, and filtering out fiction from fact as news about Covid, vaccines, tests, treatments, and more seem to change and be contradicted daily. 

Two days in to distance learning and it seems all right--better than the past. My daughter is older, more tech savvy, and I guess, so am I. I still feel anxious and unfocused, but am determined to keep moving ahead. 

Since it has been one year since my last post, I tried to think about what I have been wanting or needing lately. I keep wishing there was a way to freeze time so that I can get more done and move beyond what feels like regular life maintenance to life progress. I can't slow down time, but I can breathe deep and think about sloths in picture books. Yes, sloths--laid back, slow-moving, often sleeping, beautiful creatures. 

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Super Sloth Written and Illustrated by Robert Starling © 2019 Andersen Press USA

One day, an ordinary sloth discovers and reads a book about a superhero. The sloth wonders if he can be a hero, too. Then, when a greedy anteater steals all of the animals’ mangoes, something needs to be done so the animals can eat; however, no one believes they are capable of getting to the anteater to save the mangoes. Sloth decides this is his chance to become a superhero. Sloth soon discovers, though, that he lacks the powers of flight and speed. Doesn’t he need these to be a superhero? Later, when another animal says they are powerless to fix the mango situation, Sloth wonders if maybe he possesses strengths that can turn him into a superhero after all. 

My daughter and I found the story cute, simple, and funny. It made us smile even though, as in several other sloth fiction books we’ve read, Sloth has the ability to walk and stand. Real sloths are unable to stand and support their bodies. They move solely by climbing and crawling. Currently, any sloth books that elicits smiles from us is a worthy sloth book, but we would love to find more stories with sloth characters who truly represent the animal. 

On that note, the following two books fit the bill.

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Sparky! Written by Jenny Offill and Illustrated by Chris Appelhans © 2014 Schwartz & Wade Books 

• 2015 Charlotte Zolotow Award winner (for outstanding writing in a picture book)

All a girl wants is a pet. After her mother promises her she can only have a pet that "doesn't need to be walked or bathed or fed," the girl researches her options and decides a sloth meets the criteria. Arriving via Express Mail, much to the mother's chagrin, the mother cannot reject the pet as her daughter reminds her, "a promise is a promise." 

Sparky is a typical sloth. He sleeps, he hangs, he sits. The girl teaches him various games--hide and seek (Sparky sits and doesn't hide), statue (Sparky is a pro), king of the mountain (Sparky sits and the girl wins). When the girl feels the need to prove to a peer named Mary that Sparky is just as good of a pet as Mary's cat, the girl does not think through her plan before promoting Sparky in a grand manner.

Teaching a sloth to play fetch and perform other tricks that involve movement before Sparky "forgets" what he was supposed to do, is not an easy task. When it's time to show off Sparky to Mary and a neighbor, Sparky performs as expected, based on his behavior in the time spent with the girl. He sits and stares and barely remains awake. Mary is not impressed. The neighbor comments on Sparky's pretty coat. 

In the end, the girl continues to view Sparky as her dear pet, and possibly also as a friend. Sometimes, it's not important what a pet can do. Sometimes, contentment with a pet comes from just being together.

The watercolor illustrations in shades of brown, green, blue, and red, and the facial expressions of the characters combine to create a visually calm story that made me smile at times as I read, but also connect with the girl. Not that it matters to the story, but as a reader and a mom, I might guess the girl is an only child with a single mother (as there are no siblings nor a father mentioned). Like my own daughter, the girl may have longed for a pet as a companion. The girl, I believe, eventually realizes that instead of trying to make Sparky into something or someone who he is not, she can be with Sparky as himself and love him anyway. 

In real life, sloths are not pets. A peer like Mary still thinks she knows it all. And, a girl expresses at least some frustration when a pet does very little of what she wants him to do. The girl in Sparky! never appears frustrated, although she has a brief moment of doubt of her own words as she tries to impress others with Sparky's "talent". Mostly, she appears to breathe acceptance.

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"Slowly, Slowly, Slowly," said the Sloth Written and Illustrated by Eric Carle © 2002 Puffin Books 

The sloth in this story slowly, slowly eats, slowly, slowly crawls along a branch, slowly, slowly falls asleep. The sloth hangs upside down from the tree during the day, the night, and in the rain. Life moves around the sloth in the animals passing by, in the changing of the weather, and more. When other creatures ask the sloth about its silence, its boring nature, and what the animals perceive to be laziness, the sloth slowly, slowly takes time to respond. And the response is brilliant! The sloth acknowledges most of the animals' perceptions of its nature. The sloth admits it is "unflappable, languid, stoic" and "slow, quiet, and boring". The sloth slowly, slowly asserts itself by naming off numerous additional adjectives that describe exactly how this sloth believes is its nature. Laziness is not part of the list. 

I love how grounded the sloth seems in the story. The text, complemented by Eric Carle's traditional colorful illustrations and depictions of nature, creates a story that is both slow--not boring--and lovely. As I try to remember to take even a few moments each day to practice mindfulness, "Slowly, Slowly, Slowly" said the Sloth is one wonderful book that can aid in the calm and focus needed to achieve moments of being present. 

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Sloths make me smile. Sloths make me feel calm. I realize, that thinking about sloths helps me be present and focused. Thank goodness my daughter has a collection of sloth stuffies, and we know two locales that have a live sloth to see in person if we wish to visit.

What is something that helps you focus and find calm these days in our seemingly unsettled world? Share your thoughts in the comments. I would love to hear from you so we can learn from each other.

Back again, at least thinking about writing,

today, tomorrow, and always. 

~Tamara

Mind Chaos, Anxiety, and Time to Defragment

I realized that today marks one year since my last blog post. So much for making a comeback, and “done, not perfect”. What is wrong with me? I continue asking this question. Here I have this dream (since I was in second grade, or approximately 42 years) of becoming a published author and yet something inside me continues to block my path in moving forward. I know there are elements of fear, doubt, impostor syndrome, and anxiety--all of which might be one in the same. I’ve considered giving up writing. I even tried to give up the dream, but I continue to visualize myself at my readings sharing my newest picture book or excerpts from a middle grade novel, or even my memoir. I imagine the food I will serve, and the themes to accompany the books. I imagine finding my books on a shelf at a bookstore. I see myself traveling to schools to give readings and lead writing workshops. I imagine being chosen to speak at one of my former colleges because of my accomplishments. I cannot shut out the visions and the thoughts.

One year ago today, the first case of Covid-19 was lab-confirmed in the United States. This marked the beginning of a year that has changed millions of lives around the world physically, behaviorally toward ourselves and others, and emotionally. So, adding to my anxiety around my dream, was this Covid thing that led me to being a full-time stay-at-home mom, distance learning teacher (which came to an end when we returned to in-person live yesterday, January 19th, 2021). Now I have developed increased doubts about my parenting (it is really hard living with a child 24 hours as a single parent while trying to keep her on track with her schooling, and trying to work by creating lessons and videos and being available for regular tech support for students, families and colleagues). My mind is like a computer needing major defragmenting. 

I know that I’m not alone with this mind chaos. So many unknowns and inconsistencies this year, not only for adults, but for our children, too. Remembering that we’re not alone, when it’s so easy to feel alone, is key to managing, and I pray, to also moving forward.

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Small Things by Mel Tregonning © 2018 Pajama Press Inc. (Publisher)

How does one write a picture book about anxiety without the addition of words? Anxiety can reveal itself in symbols. For a boy in Small Things, flying, almost monster-like, spirits chase after him, taking bites out of the boy’s flesh with their sharp teeth. Not literally, but in reading this black and white wordless graphic-style picture book, readers or viewers can see a boy trying to fit in and be himself, but when other kids stop smiling at him or talking to him, the chomping spirit beings swarm around him. He tries to cover the missing chunks in his flesh to hide them from other peoples’ view as more of him gets eaten away, but this does not deter the creatures. The boy grapples with his school work, angers easily at home, and struggles to clear his head when he tries to sleep at night. At all of these times, the demons flow and swirl around him.

Not until the boy’s older sister recognizes his pain does he learn that the same types of demons plague her also. Only after this recognition and acknowledgement is he able to repel the demons. At first, the spirits still take bites, but with support of his sister, the boy bravely talks to his parents. Then is he able to sleep calmly. The story concludes with the reader seeing that the boy is not the only child at school being bitten in varying amounts by the demons. He later reaches out to a classmate who he lashed out at previously. A hand on her shoulder lets her know that she is not alone.

(Side note: Mel Tregonning, the creator of Small Things struggled with her own demons. She died before the book’s completion. Author and illustrator Shaun Tan, with the blessing of Tregonning’s family, was able to finish the story that Tregonning began through her powerful and beautiful artistry.)

This book, I believe, has value for both children and adults. It’s time to move forward, for all of us. 

(It’s getting late now, but I’m determined to post this before I go to sleep while it's still today, January 20, 2021. Something else happened that is symbolic of moving forward. Today was inauguration day. How many tears were shed out of pure joy and hope? It is time for our anxieties to cease. It’s a new year. We’re not alone, and now many of us are not so small anymore.)

To a new year,

Today, tomorrow, and always.

~Tamara

Making A Comeback: Done, Not Perfect!

For years I have tried to figure out what blocks me from writing--the activity that I wish to be doing more than any other. It’s certainly not about the lack of ideas. If I could transfer my thoughts to paper or a screen instantly, I would be set. 

While fear seems to be at least part of the problem, I’m still not clear if it’s the fear of failure or the fear of success. (I have Brené Brown’s Gifts of Imperfection and am sure there is some connection here, but I still have to read the book.) I know that I am not at a place where it feels like enough to write only for me. I want to share my words, insights, and observations. I guess I need to know that others appreciate what I write. Self-doubts can have immense power over moments of confidence, and when it comes to a dream and a longing, self-doubts squash my focus and push me closer to the “why bother” side of my attempts at writing. 

Last April (2019), I started a new fitness and nutrition program. Before this, I disliked exercising as it bored me and felt like a task that got me nowhere--literally and figuratively. When it came to food, I felt like I was eating the same foods all the time. Then, an ad popped up online one March evening. Instead of ignoring it as I do most, I decided to watch the one-hour webinar. 

Sometimes I do believe we see things at the time we are ready for them. I wanted to find a program that included nutrition with real food (not proprietary shakes, bars, and other food), and fitness routines that didn’t require expensive equipment or for me to be watching happy fitness leaders and participants all perfectly in sync while smiling as they worked out. I needed, and still need, real. Human. People who don't stand on pedestals to teach me their celebrity fitness plan or latest trend. For me, it wasn’t about losing weight--which did happen--but rather it was about forming new habits and a new lifestyle. The program I found was the right one for me. I now have new habits, both with fitness and nutrition. I discovered that I enjoy meal prep and cooking, and it’s possible to actually like exercising. When so much of my life--jobs (yes, I have more than one currently), parenting, writing--are subjective, open-ended activities, finding something that is concrete and has a definite start and finish (such as preparing a cooking a meal or following an established timed fitness routine) keeps me grounded. 

I believe, for me, it’s harder not to write than it is to write. So, when I recently met with my Wellness Coach to discuss my progress on various goals, she introduced the idea of “done, not perfect”. I see this as not about doing something mediocre just to get it done, but rather about doing the activity and accepting that it may not be perfect. If the doer puts forth honest effort, the activity has value and is worth doing and finishing, even if it's not "perfect" in the end.

Now, as I try again, for the millionth and hopefully last time, to turn writing into a habit, I’m going to remind myself of “done, not perfect.” I need to do this. I can do this. Today’s post is my comeback. 

To new habits,

Today and tomorrow,

~Tamara

Teamwork and Individual Stories

Sometimes when I meet a character in a realistic fiction story who accomplishes a major goal or succeeds at a great task that seemed daunting or impossible, I think how lucky I am to have met that person, and been an observer of their life (even though I know the author was the one who did the masterful job of creating the character and challenge and making it all seem real). Then, I often wonder, what about the other characters involved? I don't know if I would have been able to accomplish the same feat as the main character. Just because the protagonist is the star player of the championship team, and the story focused on her, and she has a great story, the other players on the team have a story, too, don't they? I have to tell myself this daily when I doubt my skills and abilities and think that maybe what I have to offer and the stories I write aren't "good enough" when compared to others. We don't know what happens behind someone else's front door.

You know what? My stories matter. And, I want to hear those other stories, too. They do have value. I think this is part of what I love about the character, Nikki, in the debut novel by Barbara Carroll Roberts.

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Nikki on the Line Written by Barbara Carroll Roberts; (c)2019 Little, Brown and Company (Publisher)

In Nikki on the Line, Roberts gives birth to a main character, Nikki, age 13, whose immediate family is comprised of her younger brother, Sam, and their single mom. Nikki lives for playing basketball, even though her mom apparently has no sports genes and seems to zone out when Nikki talks the sport. Readers also learn, when the science teacher assigns a project involving DNA and family, that both Nikki and her brother were conceived via anonymous sperm donors. To Nikki, this is initially the most embarrassing thing her mom could have done to her kids.

The story primarily revolves around Nikki's involvement playing on a club basketball team. After she makes the team, she must convince her mom how much it means to play at the club level. Nikki also must decide what she will sacrifice to make it feasible for her mom to afford the club fees on a single-parent salary. The story continues with Nikki figuring out where she fits on a team of players who each perform at a high level of skill, managing the changes she chose for her life so she can play at the club level, and finding her way with friendships. As the story progresses, Nikki struggles with belief in her own abilities and wondering if her choices are truly worth it.

I loved this book on several levels. First, I'm sure I've mentioned before that I am not a sports person. I watch basketball at times, but I do not know the rules of the game. Until reading Nikki on the Line, I also only saw basketball players from the outside, solely as players, which is also part of the reason watching team sports has not appealed to me. Roberts writes with a clarity that allowed me to see via Nikki's first person point-of-view and be in the game. I was on the floor, in Nikki's mind, seeing through her eyes. This was a perspective I've never had with basketball before. The plays started to make sense. The working together with team-mates and strategy from the coach came into focus. I could see it, and I liked it.

Second, being a mom who also conceived her daughter via a sperm donor, I found Nikki's embarrassment interesting. Each family is different, and I wonder when Nikki first started to have a problem with how she was conceived. I have considered how my daughter will think when she reaches age 13, but we have had conversations about it (at levels that are appropriate for her age). So far so good. My first picture book manuscript draft during grad school was a story I wrote for my daughter about a girl who struggled with making a family tree for school and trying to figure how how to fit in the person who brought her and her mom together. (If you want the actual terminology I used, I am looking for an agent and/or publisher for the now heavily revised manuscript that I included in my graduate creative thesis). In Nikki on the Line I appreciate how, as Nikki starts to learn about the man who she identifies as her "paper dad", she starts to acknowledge and welcome the traits she likely inherited from him.

Third, when looking at the book as a whole, the theme of teamwork comes to mind. Not only do the individual contributions of each player combine to make a dynamic team, everything in Nikki's life relates back to teamwork. Whether it is how she works with a friend and family to improve her basketball skills, how she works with her brother and her mom to make playing basketball a reality, or how all parts of her life come together, like a team, to make her hopes and goals a success.

Finally, I love how this book was not about a girl who single-handedly led a basketball team to a championship or won a super scholarship or was discovered and became a star. It was about a girl who makes up one important part of a greater whole. It was about a girl who understands the value of hard work, practice, family, friendships, and what it takes to be part of a team. I wonder what the story would be if any of the other players on Nikki's basketball team were the protagonists. Any one of them might have a story equally valuable. For now, though, in this story, Nikki is the winning character in my mind.

To discovery of many more perspectives, and individual stories.

Today and tomorrow,

~Tamara

A First Visit to an Unfamiliar World Via a Book

A picture book may show only static, non-moving images on the page, but if we allow the images, along with the book's text to merge in our mind we can travel to other worlds without a computer or other electronic device.

So many people, including kids, view picture books as being only for young children. I know I've written about this before, but I feel I must continue to reiterate how picture books can be like a sample taste of something larger - a small introduction to a grand new concept.

This week's book provides an introduction to a practice performed by another culture - a practice that will likely be new and fascinating to readers. I first learned about the book and story many years ago at a professional development session focusing on the use of picture books in the secondary school setting. I have not forgotten it since.

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Very Last First Time Written by Jan Andrews (1942-2017) and Illustrated by Ian Wallace; (c) 1985 Groundwood Books (Publisher)

On the day of the story, Eva, a young Inuit girl in Canada, prepares to partake in a tradition of walking solo on the seabed floor below the ice to gather mussels for food. Until this day, Eva had always accompanied her mother on the journey.

The two women venture together to find just the right place in the already cracked ice. They make a hole. Then, Eva, along with needed supplies, descends into the darkness below the frozen surface. With the tide out, Eva lights candles and explores the undersea wonderland as she searches for mussels. Colorful illustrations, like the hues of a coral reef, fill the pages. Readers can see Eva discover mussels, coral, anemones, and other creatures and plants that usually dwell in the water's depths. The author and illustrator show Eva's curiosity and wonder through the text and images.  

While the story does not delve into the hazards of walking beneath the ice, the author creates tension when Eva hears signs of the returning tide. Her fear grows as she realizes she must find and return to the hole where she entered the undersea world before the water returns. Did she venture too far? Cries for help go unheard, but Eva has done this before with her mother. Can she finish her task and be all right? Will her solo journey be her only time, or only her very last first time of traveling alone? 

Prior to learning about and reading this book, the thought of venturing below the ice had always been more of a fear of breaking through and falling into the freezing water below. Imagining what it would be like to first have the tide continue to ebb and flow, and then be able to enter the world below the ice when the tide flows out, both scares and fascinates me. Knowing now that this is a real thing, makes it all the more compelling.

As I've researched more about the Inuit practice, I've learned how the harvesting of mussels beneath the ice is not a daily adventure. The phases of the moon work along with the tide. When the moon is full, the tide stays out the longest. This scientific phenomena, alone, fascinates me. The process involves a great number of risks including drowning due to being caught beneath the ice when the tide flows back in, losing the hole where the person entered the sea because of thinning ice shifting and blocking the hole, cracking and breaking ice not supporting the weight of the travelers, and more.  An online search using the phrase "harvesting below the ice" (one of many search terms I've tried) reveals videos and articles that share about the experience of real people who, despite the dangers, continue the practice today.

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Learning about the practices of other cultures, especially when it comes to survival and meeting basic needs, teaches us about the world in ways we would never know if we weren't willing to look beyond our personal experiences. Each time I learn something new, it is a discovery. And, unless my learning reveals something that disturbs me, something that I wish I had not learned about, I almost always feel enriched.

My daughter asked me about the title of the book. "I don't get it," she said, before I read her the story. I then explained how once we learn or do something for the first time, there will never be another first time. We talked more, and it made sense. 

There are countless activities we can say we've done for the very last first time, but some are greater than others. What is an activity you have done that you can look at in awe and recognize that your attempt or accomplishment was truly the very last first time you did it? Can you name a picture book you've read during your life that took you on the first step (as it provided an introduction) to greater learning? I would love to read more about picture books that gave you a taste of something larger.

For now, to more last firsts!

Today and tomorrow,

~Tamara

Seeing Magic and the Extraordinary

Ever since I was little, I dreamed of magic happening to me. I wished fairies would visit. I wished I could travel to a magical world where animals talked and unicorns existed. I wished I could shrink and be friends with my dolls. When I felt lonely, I wished something magical would happen. Today, when I visit cloudy places in my mind, which self-doubts frequently steer me toward, I wish and hope for that magic to appear outside of my head. I want it to be real. I hope. I look. I try to see. Self-doubting hinders the vision, so reminders help me see--at least for moments.

As I continue to acquaint myself with the library book collection in the media center where I now work (since January), I discover new books that make me think, smile, and see. One of my recent finds is this week's book. In fact, it is a new overall favorite of mine. 

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Something Extraordinary Written and Illustrated by Ben Clanton; (c)2015 Simon and Schuster Books for Young Readers (Publisher)

The main character, a young boy, has many wishes. He wishes for abilities (such as being able to fly or move things with his mind or talk to animals). He wishes he had a bushy tale. He wishes the rain would fall in colors. He wishes for many things, but he longs for something real to happen outside of his imagination. He reminds me of myself.

The story concludes when suddenly, something real happens, right in front of the boy. He does not have to look, as he can see that the magic becomes real when he notices something that already exists. Something ordinary to some folk, may be extraordinary to others. To the boy, his discovery is truly extraordinary. I have seen his extraordinary find, and also believe it is beautiful and wonderful. The magic of birds singing together, and filling the air around trees with lively chatter. and song--this is something extraordinary. 

When the boy shares his wishes, Clanton's whimsical illustrations bring them each visually to life. I smiled while reading the book. My daughter recognized the similarities of creatures in one of the illustrations to Clanton's newer characters, Narwhal and Jelly, (from his Narwhal and Jelly books) who we both love. (It's hard not to love a Narwhal, a Jellyfish, and waffles.)

Something Extraordinary may be a picture book for children, but its message can touch people of any age. It touched me. I could not return this book to the library without knowing that I can continue holding on to the story and message in my home.

My brand new copy arrives in a couple of days. 

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Magic, depending on how one defines the term, exists everywhere. We only need to open our eyes to see it.

What is some real magic that you see? What is your "something extraordinary" find? I dare you to share your thoughts. Perhaps what you see will help another reader gain sight.

To finding magic and seeing something today and tomorrow,

~Tamara

Concrete Thinking in My Abstract Life

Being a teacher, a mom, and a writer all have me living daily in what I call "subjective" or "abstract" roles. The titles themselves are "concrete" and "fixed", but the tasks within each are forever open-ended.

I remember a time when I worked as a math tutor at a community college. Someone who knew of my writing asked, "are you one of those writing people who does math?" I guess I was, and still am (up through basic algebra, and then you can count me out).

I love math because it is concrete. Problems are like puzzles. I can approach them from a variety of directions, but if I solve them correctly, the final solution is the same regardless of my method. When I teach math, I frequently instruct my students in how to use multiple methods for solving the problems. While I want my students to at least learn how to use the different methods, I ultimately let them choose their preferred method, provided they can show their work or explain their process. 

I need math and other concrete thinking in my seemingly abstract life, because at least once I solve a problem, my work is done. With parenting, teaching, and writing, I never know when I am finished. And, for someone like me, who questions and/or doubts herself often, having some concrete/fixed closed-ended results helps keep me grounded.

A couple of years ago, I learned about Hour of Code (Hour Of Code) and discovered the power of writing simple code to accomplish a task and solve problems. This week's book, one of several connected to the "Girls Who Code" movement (and the first book that made me aware of "Girls Who Code") brings coding to life off of the screen or in unplugged mode.

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How to Code a Sandcastle Written by Josh Funk; Illustrated by Sara Palacios; (c)2018 Viking (Publisher)

Meet Pearl, a young girl who chooses to spend her final day of summer vacation building a sand castle. Since past building attempts flopped due to a variety of events beyond her control, such as a "shark attack" and "flying saucers" (not as bizarre as they sound, thanks to the illustrations), Pearl is determined to achieve success with the aide of her robot, Pascal, following "code" or a set of instructions that a computer can understand.

Telling Pascal to only build a sandcastle" means little to a robot. Pearl realizes that if she thinks like a coder and breaks the large task into smaller tasks that make sense to Pascal, then together they can accomplish her ultimate goal. Pearl also realizes that each instruction needs to be clear and specific, such as where to build. Without parameters, Pascal might build too close to water or not even in the sand. At times, such as when gathering sand, Pearl recognizes the need to use a "loop" or a way to repeat directions multiple times without having to write them again and again (similar to how we may do 5x7 instead of using repeated addition of 5+5+5+5+5+5+5). Pearl continues to learn about the importance of specificity when Pascal attempts to fulfill tasks without limits. When she tells him to gather "fancy decorations" for the sandcastle, while she gathers seashells, Pascal grabs a lifeguard tower complete with lifeguard, a pacifier, and other items he comes across. This leads Pearl to implement "if-then-else" conditions so Pascal will consider if each item meets certain criteria to collect or if he needs to then search for something else.

When all finally appears good, another unforeseen event occurs. Rather than viewing this as a failure, Pearl remembers that she already wrote the code, so she doesn't need to start over. She only needs to identify where the problem occurs in the code and then add a fix.

Once Pearl finally achieves her goal, she realizes there is no stopping her from building more.

How to Code a Sandcastle is a book that makes the basics of coding accessible and relatable to real-life off the screen. The humorous illustrations along with the clear writing together make the story not only fun to read, but also educational. While I love learning to code on a computer or tablet, I appreciate having a non-technology tool that can help me introduce coding to others.

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What is something that helps ground you in the abstract/subjective parts of your life? I welcome you to share in the comments below.

To being grounded,
today and tomorrow,

~Tamara

Bucket Lists and Books that Touch Us

Several years ago I learned about the term "bucket list". I hadn't really thought about what I wanted to make sure I did before I died, but now that I have a child, I want my life to feel full. I want my daughter to see her mother as someone who has few regrets. It's so easy to list regrets when life changes unexpectedly and it seems impossible to make up for what we missed had we performed an action only a minute earlier. What are the experiences I wish to do/have before I die? I'm talking about the ones that I have some power in for making them happen. If I was on my deathbed and I had not accomplished specific tasks, what would be the ones that would leave me feeling incomplete?

I don't have a huge list. As my daughter ages, there may be more journeys I realize I wish to take with her, but right now, most of my list remains local.
Some of the greater items include:

• Become a published author (where a company and an editor and agent wants to represent and publish my work) and be able to give public readings and visit schools
• Become fluent in Spanish
• Discover an artform that I can do well and love
• Play various instruments with at least basic proficiency (including the ukulele, guitar, my various dulcimers, the flute, the clarinet, and the violin)
• Visit Disney World and nearby parks multiple at least once (but hopefully more times) with my daughter
• Learn ventriloquism
• Take my daughter to the ocean
• Become an audio book reader
• Do voice overs for an animated show
• Become a mom (DONE!)
• Become a teacher (DONE!)
• Speak at a TED talk
• Live to see my daughter grow up, find love, and possibly have children of her own (my part involves taking care of myself as best I can, and being a guide and role model as my daughter grows)

It is not too early to start acting on our bucket lists. Sometimes, especially for some of the items on my list, it's a matter of figuring out how to start or acquire the means to attempt the task. Sometimes, it's not just about ourselves, though. We may have the info and resources to help others work toward items on their lists without us even knowing it.

This week's picture book starts with the dedication in the front of the book, "For people who love dogs and for dogs who love people." If you are one of these people, or perhaps one of these dogs, then I predict you will connect to Stay: A Girl, a Dog, a Bucket List by the sister team of Kate Klise and M. Sarah Klise.

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Stay: A Girl, a Dog, a Bucket List Written by Kate Klise; Illustrated by M. Sarah Klise; (c)2017 Feiwel & Friends (Publisher)

When Astrid comes home from the hospital, following her birth, Eli, the dog, is there. As Astrid grows, Eli continues to be present. As Astrid ages, so does Eli, but faster. Eli is a part of Astrid's daily life, both while she's awake, and while she sleeps. Their bond cannot go unnoticed by the reader, especially while viewing the illustrations showing the two together in various situations.

One day, Astrid recognizes that even though Eli remains the same size, he's getting older. She decides, then, to make a bucket list of activities they must do together before Eli is too old. 

The story continues with the two spending time completing items on the list. Sometimes, the time together is solely about being together and not going anywhere or doing anything else. This is what matters in the end (of the book, too).

At first, an unknown storyteller narrates the story. Later, we can see Astrid's thoughts when she verbalizes them to Eli. What makes the story special next is that we can see Eli's thoughts as he thinks his feelings during or after an activity. This touches me in that having had dogs in the past, I always wondered if my dog enjoyed what we were doing. Dog lovers know when their pooches are happy. Yet, even when the animals express joy through their body movements and facial expressions, are they enjoying the activity, or is the joy more in merely being with their humans? I know I often wondered what Daisy or Brandi (my family's past dogs) would say if they could speak my language.

I discovered today's picture book after a librarian posted, in an online media specialist group that I follow, wondering if anyone else cries when they read certain books to their students. Several elementary librarians shared titles that bring out the tears. I have not read Stay to a class yet, but I did read it to Little Sapling. I didn't cry, but I could have. While various websites I checked show the age range for this book is preschool and kindergarten, I definitely believe that older children, as well as adults, can be moved by the story.  

SPOILER ALERT (in case you are wondering): Eli does NOT die in the book. Even so, the story is bound to touch readers who have ever loved and lost a pet, or who are seeing their current pet slow down with age.

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What are some items on your bucket list? 
Going back to the media specialist's question, have you read any books (either aloud or to yourself) that made you cry? I would love to see titles from readers that have deeply affected you to tears. The first book I remember reading as a kid that made me cry was The Friends by Rosa Guy  (published originally, I believe, in 1973. I read it, likely, in the early 80's).

Post your comments below. (Remember they may not appear right away.) I hope to hear from you!

Today and tomorrow,

~Tamara

Finding Lost Things and Learning a Name

My favorite part about learning is when a subject I did not know was missing from my cabinet of knowledge in my brain becomes a subject of wonder that I wish to remember.

I continue to reiterate that I love nonfiction picture books! In my library, last year, picture books were in the Everybody section. While there are leveled picture books for readers at various beginning reading levels, picture books that are not specifically leveled, can work for all age levels. In fact, the general reading level in many picture books is higher than that of a beginning reader. This doesn't mean young children and early readers cannot comprehend the language, it only means that reading may be more challenging for newer readers. Picture books, in my mind, are meant to be read aloud and shared. If the illustrations are done well, comprehension lost on the words, can be found via seeing the pictures. Plus, pictures tell the reader or viewer details beyond the words.

Unfortunately, people, kids included, assume picture books are only for little kids. NOT TRUE! Nonfiction picture books, as well as fiction picture books that tell stories based on true events are excellent stepping-stones for learning about something new and getting started on further research.

My two recent finds include a MN Star of the North 2018/2019 nominee that I had not seen when it was published in 2017, and a title by my first advisor (aka Jackie) and mentor when I started working toward my MFA at Hamline and realized how little I knew.

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Maya Lin: Artist-Artchitect of Light and Lines: Written by Jeanne Walker Harvey; Illustrated by Dow Phumiruk; (c)2017 Henry Holt and Company (Publisher) 

This story is about Maya Lin, the woman who designed the Vietnam Veterans Memorial in Washington, D.C. I will be honest, this is a historical fact I did not know. I don't remember if, when I visited the wall many years ago, I noted any information about who designed it. The visit was all about the wall, even though I knew of no names on it.

Maya grew up in a home with a brother and parents who allowed her to think her own thoughts and be her own person. Maya found a passion for creating art with her hands. She loved nature and the shapes of things. She decided to one day become an architect.

During her final year of college, Maya learned about the design competition for a Vietnam War memorial. Using clear and simple language, Harvey details Maya's process, and reasoning while she considered and planned her design. Competing against accomplished architects and artists, it came as a surprise to Maya, as well as many others, that the chosen design belonged to a student. Maya held strong as people held hearings to announce opposition or wishes for changes to her work. Despite challenges, her design eventually became reality, with Maya involved in the construction.

The book pages contain white space, spare colors, and text segments having no more than five lines each. This simplicity reflects the style of work that Maya continues to create. Little detail, thus leaving room for people to engage with the art and ponder what they feel. I find the book calm, and lovely.

The stepping stone created by Maya Lin: Artist-Architect of Light and Lines, for me, will lead me to learn more about Maya Lin's work, and help Little Sapling* see the potential of her art (as her goal is to become an artist one day).

*          *          *

Creekfinding: Written by Jacqueline Briggs Martin; Illustrated by Claudia McGehee; (c)2017 University of  Minnesota Press (Publisher) 

When things go lost, unless someone remembers, a treasure may not be rediscovered. In Creekfinding, though, someone remembers.

The story begins by sharing what a creek is, and how it can get lost. It continues when a man named Mike buys the land, intending to grow a prairie of flowers and tall grasses. One day, a neighbor informs Mike that he once caught a brook trout where Mike stood. This changes Mike's goal. Now, he sets his mind on finding the creek that once flowed. While ignoring those who scoff at his idea, he works with friends who own bulldozers, excavators, and other machines. He works with plants, rocks, and gravel. He works with time. Working with everything together, Mike finds the lost creek and restores it to life. 

My daughter and I enjoyed this book. Neither one of us had familiarity with the concept of creekfinding prior to reading. I love any idea that involves discovery and growth. We also admired Claudia McGehee's bold and beautiful scratchboard illustrations showing the process, development, and increasing natural beauty of Mike's efforts. I am a fan of scratchboard art and love the use of black outlines and watercolors in the illustrations. McGehee's art truly complement Martin's storytelling.

In addition to the illustrations, Martin's word choices added an auditory element. Water "burbled" and "tumbled". Insects "whirred" and "buzzed". An "outdoor orchestra", comprised of herons, bluebirds, frogs, insects and more, can be heard. I "heard" all of this in my mind. 

Mike, who the reader learns via the end notes, is epidemiologist Michael Osterholm. Osterholm shares that despite the naysayers who laughed at his plan of finding the creek, "the science part of my brain said if the stream flowed once it could flow again." He reminds readers, as does Martin by telling the story, that it is possible to restore natural resources. Osterholm also adds, "I hope kids will remember from this story that we can change the world by acting on our dreams."

The stepping-stone created by Creekfinding, for me, will lead me to learn more about what Little Sapling and I can do to grow flowers and other plants to attract birds and insects we're not seeing as much as we would like near our home.
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What is a recent stepping-stone you've encountered in your reading? I  would love if you would share in the comments sections. (Comments won't appear immediately, but I'll approve them once I see them).

To continued learning and reading,

today and tomorrow,

~Tamara



*Little Sapling - online name I use to refer to my seven-year-old daughter.

New Perspectives and Appreciation

I am a fair-weather sports fan, particularly when it comes to team sports. I joke sometimes that I might have been adopted as I seem to lack the sport fan gene that my parents have when activities, both in and out of the home, must revolve around the times of the broadcast of a Vikings football game, or Minnesota (MN) Gopher basketball or football game, or MN Twins game. If the games are inaccessible via television, the radio voices will follow my parents from room to room on their handheld radios.

During high school, the only reason I attended football or basketball games was to perform as a flag twirler with the marching and pep bands. I loved performing with my silent (nonspeaking) activity of swirls and twirls, tosses and flows of color to the band music or piped in songs. The main reason I started watching baseball for a relatively short period of life was because it was impossible to not get sucked into the excitement of the MN Twins playing toward and in the 1987 and 1991 World Series games. Twins Fever was contagious throughout the state, affecting me for awhile. And then, it left.

When I look for books to read, generally, if a book has a sports theme, I reflexively feel disinterest. I don’t mean to close myself off automatically, but it happens. It also happens that sometimes when I take a chance on a story, the author presents the perspective that connects with me.

Here in MN, we have the Maud Hart Lovelace Award. According to the MN Youth Reading Awards website,

 “The Maud Hart Lovelace Book Award is a children's read and vote book award.  Its purpose is to encourage recreational reading among school age children.

Nominated titles are works of fiction of recognized quality selected by independent regional reading groups.”

There are two divisions. Division I for grades 3-5, and Division II for grades 6-8. Some books cross both divisions.Today's book is a crossover.

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Soar Written by Joan Bauer (c) 2016 Puffin Books, an imprint of Penguin Random House, LLC (Publisher)

I knew from the cover image and the synopsis on the back cover that the book had to do with baseball and a male protagonist. The baseball-thing led me to feel iffy; however, even though I’m not working in a media center this year, I set a goal to still try and read as many of the nominees as I can before the spring voting. My last post featured “A Night Divided”, a Division II book.

Soar, for me, is a true example of a “don’t judge a book by its cover” story. The main character, Jeremiah (approximately 12 years old--but you need to read the book to learn about the approximation factor) eats, drinks, sleeps, and breathes baseball. Unfortunately, he cannot play the sport. Being a heart transplant recipient limits one's physical activities, but for Jeremiah it places no restrictions on his desire to coach and manage a team. It places no restrictions on his ability to exude positivity and a sense of humor. And, when his father receives a consulting gig offer, Jeremiah pleads to join him for the two months in the town of Hillcrest, where baseball is life.

After receiving approval from his doctors, Jeremiah and his father move to Hillcrest. The people there live and breathe baseball thanks to the multi-year successes of the local high school team. But, when a tragedy strikes the team's star pitcher and then a scandal hits the team, many in the town wish to shun baseball for good. 

Enter Jeremiah. He may not be able to play baseball, and there may not be a current team at the middle school level, but through perseverance, a belief in the sport, a belief in the leadership and words of legendary coaches, and a belief in the kids who still have a desire to play the game, Jeremiah is determined to build a middle school team and bring baseball back to the people of Hillcrest for reasons that go beyond winning alone. 

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I loved this book! Joan Bauer developed well-rounded characters possessing distinct individual qualities involving their personalities, motivations, quirkiness (I love quirkiness), and heart. While reading, I recognized an emotional connection I had to the environment and characters central to the story. They touched me, from Jeremiah himself, to the local rabbi, to the robot who resides in Jeremiah's home, to Franny who lives next door with her mother, brother, and her grandfather known as El Grande, to Benny, the boy who has a cognitive disability and a full heart for baseball regardless of any scandal. Being a part of Jeremiah's community is definitely a world I could live in. The iffiness I felt toward the book initially, because of the baseball component, faded within the first few pages as I fell in love with Jeremiah's character. Told via present tense, first person point-of-view, Jeremiah's words, throughout, evoked laughter and sadness within me. More than anything, though, they evoked hope. Jeremiah even enriched my fair-weather love for baseball. There is something I admire about people who not only play the game for the love of the sport first, but also demonstrate their passion as they play.

Getting a new perspective,

today and tomorrow,

~Tamara