Life continually takes unplanned turns.
Then, I think.
I think too much. And my thinking sometimes surrounds me with a wall, a barrier that tries to separate me from rational and irrational perils.
When I started my job as a Library Media Specialist (LMS) last year, I knew that a pink slip would come my way in the spring. It was the nature of being a new specialist in a new district (regardless of my previous years of teaching experience elsewhere), along with other new specialists including the PE teacher, the Art teacher, and several of the reading teachers. Despite doing our roles and parts as directed, sometimes leaders choose new directions. Sometimes we then have to reach and dig to find the positives again when clouds hover above.
My silver lining was comprised of mentors who helped me learn more with library and technology skills than I would have gained had I been required to figure things out on my own, supportive colleagues (some who continue to be friends), and the overall combined experiences that blessed me with confidence to believe that I truly can be a LMS.
In spite of my 16 years of experience teaching, and one year of being an LMS, I apparently am "too new" for a similar role and lack the "right" kind of experience. So, while I use this time to reconsider what I really wish to be doing in my life, I have returned to where I started in 2001. I work as a substitute teacher. The difference today is that now I can hold hands with 17 years of teaching and learning experiences, and the light I see is that I continue to learn while observing and listening in different classrooms and schools. I personally urge all teachers to consider substitute teaching at some point in their careers to gather new ideas and strategies, as well as evaluate or re-evaluate what they like and dislike about teaching. Refreshment can exist here.
After a month plus of subbing, I reconnected to my reading. And, little has changed with my preferred interests--middle grade, young adult, and picture books.
A Night Divided Written by Jennifer A. Nielsen (c) 2015 Scholastic Press, an imprint of Scholastic Inc. (Publisher)
Then, I think.
I think too much. And my thinking sometimes surrounds me with a wall, a barrier that tries to separate me from rational and irrational perils.
When I started my job as a Library Media Specialist (LMS) last year, I knew that a pink slip would come my way in the spring. It was the nature of being a new specialist in a new district (regardless of my previous years of teaching experience elsewhere), along with other new specialists including the PE teacher, the Art teacher, and several of the reading teachers. Despite doing our roles and parts as directed, sometimes leaders choose new directions. Sometimes we then have to reach and dig to find the positives again when clouds hover above.
My silver lining was comprised of mentors who helped me learn more with library and technology skills than I would have gained had I been required to figure things out on my own, supportive colleagues (some who continue to be friends), and the overall combined experiences that blessed me with confidence to believe that I truly can be a LMS.
In spite of my 16 years of experience teaching, and one year of being an LMS, I apparently am "too new" for a similar role and lack the "right" kind of experience. So, while I use this time to reconsider what I really wish to be doing in my life, I have returned to where I started in 2001. I work as a substitute teacher. The difference today is that now I can hold hands with 17 years of teaching and learning experiences, and the light I see is that I continue to learn while observing and listening in different classrooms and schools. I personally urge all teachers to consider substitute teaching at some point in their careers to gather new ideas and strategies, as well as evaluate or re-evaluate what they like and dislike about teaching. Refreshment can exist here.
After a month plus of subbing, I reconnected to my reading. And, little has changed with my preferred interests--middle grade, young adult, and picture books.
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Paying attention to the greater world around me, in society today, my overactive mind often travels to dread of an impending dystopic society. I desire to believe this could never happen, but I fear that would be naive.
Welcome to my latest read:
A Night Divided Written by Jennifer A. Nielsen (c) 2015 Scholastic Press, an imprint of Scholastic Inc. (Publisher)Historical fiction has become one of my favorite genres as it contributes to my love of continual learning. In A Night Divided, the main character, Gerta, lives with her mother and one brother. The family is larger, but when a fence, and then the Berlin wall rise, Gerta's father and another brother become residents of less restrictive West Berlin, while Gerta and her other family members remain trapped in East Berlin where armed soldiers patrol and guard the wall and streets. Those who dare to publicly resist the teachings in East Berlin face possible imprisonment or worse. Those who try to escape to the west side, face imprisonment, torture, or death. Regardless, for many, including Gerta, living in East Berlin is already a prison.
One day while walking to school, Gerta spots her father and brother on a viewing platform in the west side. She believes her father "sends" her a message. Through her own thinking, exploration of parts of East Berlin, and discovery, Gerta conceives that she must dig a tunnel under the wall. Can she do this on her own? Can she trust anyone to work with her? Would her father ask her to risk her life if escape was an impossibility?
As the story progresses, the tension within me when Gerta's way of life becomes flooded by distrust, and the need to lie and play the "game" of compliance, knotted my stomach. Gerta learns, along with her brother, that anyone can be a spy for the police or Stasi--a neighbor, a teacher, a doctor, even a dear friend. If the Stasi believes a person has any connection to someone who resists the government teachings or attempts to escape to the west, that person becomes a target to watch. Even talking in one's own home provides no guarantee of privacy from the ears and eyes of spies. If a reader does not know about the Berlin Wall, I have no doubt that A Night Divided could be seen as another addition to the titles falling under the genre of Dystopian Literature.
Even after visiting Berlin many years ago and learning about the history in person, it was not until I read A Night Divided that I truly started to comprehend what had happened not very long ago. I realized how little I knew and understood about the Berlin Wall and its effect on the people it divided. Reading stories that make history real and personal, to me, is a better way to learn from history.
I recommend A Night Divided; however, if you are like me in that a high level of sensitivity touches you, and viewing or reading about suspenseful, frightening, and/or seemingly hopeless situations, affects your nightly dreams, then, do not read this book before you sleep. If you do, have a followup plan to create calm, head-clearing moments. I had several dreams involving being trapped with others, with futile and scary attempts to escape. Not exactly a contributor to restful sleep.
Despite A Night Divided being fiction, I felt compelled, as I continued reading Gerta's first person narrative, to research articles and true stories about people who lived in Berlin (on either side of the wall) to learn more. It doesn't matter to me that this occurred in Europe. Much of it was during my lifetime, in a place that I have since visited. This makes it real.
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Just one girl's thoughts.
Today and tomorrow,
~Tamara
P.S. It feels good to be back!
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